Standing up for once.

I’ve finally come off the Anti-depressants I was on. I can’t say it was easy. I’ve spent days feeling constantly motion sick despite standing perfectly still. And O my good god have I been angry. I’ve been angry at every thing. The problem with the anti-ds, that I found, was although they made me happy that was the only emotion I had. I didn’t care about anything. It was great nothing bothered me but on the downside. Things that should have bothered me didn’t even bother me. When I finally came off the happy pills, as they where called in this house, I was bothered by everything. I was starting to worry that my previous laid back self, the one I knew before the illness, was going to be replaced by this permanently angry stranger.

Thankfully for me female hormones had a part to play in my permanent angry state. Now those hormones have subsided some what. I find I’m left with a much more pleasing side affect. Before my illness I found I was always being walked over by others, especially in the work place. I hated standing up to people and no matter what the injustice I would always back down. In fact I never really stood up in the first place.

Now all of a sudden I’ve found my inner bark. Today for the first time I challenged someone else’s behaviour. I wasn’t nasty or bitchy. I just stood my ground and not allow myself to be walked over. My councillor, if I still had one, would be proud. I certainly was.